Dear Parents,
Compassion, Carrying Another’s Burden and Time
Daily I witness acts of compassion at The Bay Academy. This may be a student assisting a peer, or a teacher supporting a student, or a teacher caring for another teacher. At times, this can also be the school caring for parents.
These significant acts of compassion reminded me of the notion that one should not aim at carrying one’s friend’s burden, but rather carry the burden with him or her; that is, helping, rather than taking over.
When experiencing these situations, we often try to resolve another person’s problems rather than express compassion by just being there for them.
By being there for them, you penetrate the “dark cave of solitude”. Sometimes the person suffering just needs you to “join them in the lift going down and not to take that person to another lift in another building”. Therefore saying, “I am here for you, rather than this is how you can solve the problem”.
I think we can all acknowledge that everyone has some battle they have had to fight. They may appear to be fine, they may appear to have the perfect life, but deep beneath that seemingly calm veneer, there often lurks the need just to have someone to be there with them.
Compassion is powerful. It has value that, more than ever, needs to be cherished and nurtured. Tragic world events typified by economic and conflict refugees, environmentally displaced people and local challenges in our beautiful country all contribute to a society that needs to take cognizance of sharing the burden of others, to be compassionate and more importantly, act on it. Being compassionate is a verb after all!
I believe we can all acknowledge that compassion is a virtue we all cherish. However, in some situations, there is a fine balance or point in time when compassion in the form of support needs to be reduced to ensure resilience is developed. The danger of maintaining support when not necessary can lead to an individual developing a reliance on support and becoming dependent. This is a very difficult situation and decision to make when support needs to be tapered off and resilience enhanced.
In my experience with students who need compassion, The Bay Academy is an outstanding environment. It is a space where compassionate teachers are very professional in initially supporting through compassion, and then guiding students to take ownership and accountability, and subsequently develop resilience. In a small school, such as The Bay Academy, this care and individual attention is possible.
I recently watched a wonderful clip from the actor Tom Hanks. He and fellow actors were discussing the important notion that time is your friend and that difficult times, requiring compassion, shall pass.
That, with time, you will traverse these difficult times and be that much more robust on the other side.
I applaud those students who may have needed compassion at the school for some time but have since mastered coping skills to provide them with grit for the future. Know that you have my respect and that you will be better equipped for what inevitably life will throw at you.
Kind regards,
John Alexander
Principal
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